Breaking Up with Selfish Ambition

“What if just being His bride is enough?”

Hey friend. Can I ask you something?

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything you did just fell flat? Like, the harder you tried, the worse it got?

That was me recently. It felt like everything I put my hand to was a big ol’ mess. And I found myself sitting in the quiet, tears slipping down my face, journaling through the frustration. I’ve worked so hard—put so much time into this podcast, into writing, into everything I feel like God’s called me to. And it just… felt like failure.

And I heard this whisper in my heart:
“What if what you are is My bride?”

Whew. That hit different.

Striving Gets Loud. But God Speaks in the Quiet.

I was having a little pity party, listening to another Christian podcast—trying to feed my soul, you know—and the woman being interviewed was this young, wildly successful preacher. She didn’t even want to be in ministry, but doors just flew open for her. Now she’s traveling the world, speaking everywhere.

And I had this moment where I thought, Why am I feeling jealous right now? I hated that feeling. But there it was.

Because I’m in my late 40s, still grinding. Still wondering if the things I do even make a difference. Still questioning why it feels like the harder I try, the less it works.

And in that raw, quiet moment with the Lord, I just heard Him say, What if just being My bride is enough?

The Holy Gut-Punch

It was like He showed me a picture. Him, totally in love with me. And me, too distracted looking around, trying to get the world to see us. Like, “Hey y’all, look at this relationship I have with Him! Look how amazing I must be!”

And He gently reminded me—You’re more concerned about what everyone else thinks than you are about just being with Me.

Ouch. That one stung.

But it made me stop. Made me breathe. Made me realize how tight I’d been holding everything.

Ambition Isn’t Always a Dirty Word—But Sometimes It Is

I’ve wrestled with ambition for years. And let me tell you, being in the mortgage space? It doesn’t help. Sales culture pushes you—sell, sell, sell. And if you’re not careful, you start to feel like a used car salesman instead of a human being helping other humans.

And look—I’m not afraid of hard work. But I don’t want to be inauthentic. I don’t want to strive in a way that compromises who I am. Because deep down, I just want to be where God is and do what He asks. Even if it doesn’t feel spiritual. Even if it looks mundane.

Maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe your job doesn’t feel “kingdom-worthy.” Maybe you’ve questioned how God could use something so… regular.

But hear me—who you really are is His bride. And that’s got to be enough.

What’s Really Driving You?

Here’s where it gets real. James 3 tells us that selfish ambition isn’t just unhealthy—it’s demonic. The Greek word for it (yes, I’m a word nerd) literally means mercenary. Someone doing a job just for the money. No heart. No purpose. Just grind.

That kind of ambition causes strife, division, disorder.

But there’s a different kind of ambition too.

The kind that says, “I want to lead a quiet life.”
The kind that says, “I want to please God.”
The kind that says, “Even if nobody sees it, I did it unto Him.”

That’s the ambition I’m chasing.

It’s All About Motive

So let me ask you—what’s it really about?

Why do you want what you want?
Why are you doing the things you’re doing?

Is it about helping others? Or is it about being seen?

I’ve had to face that in my own story. In ministry, in business, even in worship. There were times I thought I was doing it for God—but deep down, I wanted to be noticed. I wanted people to say, “Wow, Shana, you’re really gifted.”

But that applause fades. And if you build your life on it, you’ll crumble when it stops.

Breaking Up (and Breathing In Grace)

So here I am. Breaking up with selfish ambition. Again.
I’m choosing to believe that even if I write songs and no one hears them,
even if I write books and no one reads them,
even if I help people get mortgages and no one applauds—

It’s enough. Because He is my audience.

I want my ambition to be aimed at Him. I want my passion to be pleasing in His eyes. I want to rest in the truth that I am His bride—and that’s enough.

So if you’re out here striving and feeling empty…
If you’re measuring your worth by your productivity…
If you’re wondering why the world hasn’t noticed your faithfulness…

Take a breath.

Sit in the quiet.
Let Him remind you who you are.
And if you’ve got to break up with selfish ambition to get back to that place—
girl, hand it over. Let it go.

Because being His?

That’s the goal. That’s the win.
That’s enough.

If you want to dive in more to this topic, listen to the full episode here: Breaking Up with Selfish Ambition

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